Here is a small re-cap from the 2nd "Sacred Women" meeting- Thursday, May 6th, 2010.
Sacred Women meets in Stockton,CA- every other Thursday at 7:00 pm.
Mission Statement- To collectively as women come up with concrete skills in order to heal, become self-aware, have faith and hope in ourselves and ultimately become better women; to promote healing, love and unity.
This week we discussed forgiveness- what it is and how to do it. Many of us find forgiveness difficult especially when we have been very deeply wounded. Forgiveness is necessary for life and when we don’t forgive we turn into bitter resentful women. We will take a closer look at forgiveness and examine why it is necessary in order to be a “Sacred Woman”.
Here were some of the questions posed in the discussion (not all questions are listed).
What is forgiveness?
Do you find it easy or difficult to forgive those who have hurt you? Why or why not?
What does forgiveness do for you?
How do you forgive yourself?
Here were some of the responses to the first question- Some said forgiveness is to stop being angry or to “let it go”; to release the hurt.
All of us agreed that we don’t like to forgive and we actually found forgiveness hard to do- that was a shock (LOL)! One responded that it is hard to forgive someone who continually offends you or keeps breaking your trust. I think we can all agree that we usually stop forgiving someone if they continually hurt us. Some said it is “easier to forgive then to forget.”
It is true, it is difficult to forgive someone who habitually hurts and/or offends you on a regular basis. It is my belief that if we are in relationships where the person- friend or significant other keeps hurting us continually we should remove ourselves from his/her presence. Also if you find yourself in relationships were both you and the other person are hurting each other on purpose on a regular basis then both you and that person should discontinue the relationship and examine the hurt and pain existing inside both of you individually. It is sad to say but true- We hurt people because we are hurt; “Only hurt people hurt people.”
Forgiveness removes the hurt and the weight that hurt brings- this is why we MUST forgive. Forgiveness changes us for the better. Forgiveness frees us from the burden of anger, resentment and gives us freedom and peace instead. Forgiveness has the power to heal us spiritually, mentally and physically as well because it can resolve inner disease in the body as forgiveness releases tension and stress.
Ways we can forgive ourselves is to have realistic expectations of ourselves. Many of us expect perfection and when we make a mistake we come down very hard on ourselves. We need to understand that we are human and it is ok to make mistakes. Also we can ask God to help us to be merciful to ourselves and in turn we can more easily forgive others.
Some ways we can forgive others is to first empathize with the person(s) who hurt us. Put yourself in that person’s shoes. Some of us are still angry at our fathers or mothers or friends or uncles or family members and were thinking, “They should have done or not done this to me”- but we have never stopped to think that maybe that person didn’t have the capacity to do this or that. Maybe that person was so broken inside that all they could give was hurt and pain because that’s all they had in the inside. We cannot expect whole from a piece. Forgiveness releases that unrealistic expectation. How can a person give what they don’t have? If that person was broken and hurt how could that person give you love and acceptance?
Also we can always go to God and ask God for the DESIRE to forgive that person(s) if we are finding it difficult to forgive. God answers prayers. Pray in Faith.
Next we did a “Forgiveness Ceremony”. Everyone had a piece of paper and a pen and we had a fire going on in the fireplace. Every one wrote down the names(s) of the person they were struggling to forgive. Second we wrote down how that person hurt us and how it affected us. Next we individually spoke aloud the person’s name/the affect and how we were ready to forgive them today! We cast that piece of paper into the fire and like Usher said- we “let it burn!” Casting the piece of paper with the unforgiveness and hurt written on it into the fire symbolizes release; letting go, forgiveness. On another piece of paper we wrote down what we will replace the unforgiveness with, i.e. - love, joy, happiness, peace etc. Try this forgiveness journey by yourself or with a group- it’s wonderful!
Forgiveness is powerful. Forgiveness is a journey and a skill we can ask God to help us develop. Forgiveness is divine and sacred. Sacred women forgive.
Peace and Love, Miss Deliverance
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
Self- Esteem
Here is a small re-cap from the very 1st "Sacred Women" meeting- Thursday, April 15Th 2010
Mission Statement- To collectively as women come up with concrete skills in order to heal, become self-aware, have faith and hope in ourselves and ultimately become better women; to promote healing, love and unity.
The definition of "Sacred"- Holy, Divine, secured against violation, infringement; properly immune from violence.. All women are sacred- We are ALL Divine;the female version of God. Read on...
Tonight we discussed the issue of self-esteem. I wanted to begin with this topic of discussion first because all things begin with self; also I wanted to discuss self- esteem because I have battled with low self-esteem and so have many other women. The focus of this discussion is to be open, honest and collectively come up with ways to improve our self-esteems.
Discussion Questions (Not all discussion questions are listed):
What is self- esteem?
What is healthy self-esteem?
What is low self-esteem?
How do you go about building healthy self-esteem?
Do the people in your life support and nurture your esteem or do you surround yourself with people who make you feel bad about yourself?
Many responded that self-esteem is how you feel about yourself or your own sense of self-worth or self-respect. Self-esteem also encompasses our belief's about ourselves and how we feel emotionally about ourselves.
We all agreed on healthy self-esteem- feeling good about yourself, being honest with yourself, aware of your strengths and weaknesses but focusing more on your strengths, taking care of yourself emotionally, mentally and physically i.e. if someone is treating you in a bad way removing yourself from their presence permanently because you know that you were not created to be mistreated, forgiving yourself and having inner confidence(not arrogance).
Low self-esteem is the opposite of healthy self-esteem- being too hard on yourself, not feeling "good enough", feeling little, jealousy, mistreating other's, allowing other's to mistreat you constantly, negative self-image, talking negatively to yourself- "I look so ugly today", comparing yourself to other's- "She drives a better car than I do", lack of trust, deep insecurity, looking for validation/sign of approval in men, friends, a job/career, your children instead of validating yourself.
Finally we discussed tools/skills to improve our self-esteems. First we must admit to ourselves that our esteem needs to be improved. Also daily affirmations- "I am beautiful", reverse negative thoughts about self, take compliments with grace, say "Thank you" instead of "Oh this old dress". Spend time with yourself or just be still, do something that makes you feel good- read, get your toes done, go on a nature walk, listen to your favorite song (something inspirational), read positive literature etc; removing toxic/mean-spirited/angry/hurtful people out of your life permanently, talk aloud to yourself(yes, like a crazy person) use your talents/gifts- writing, singing, teaching, playing an instrument, drawing, painting, dancing etc...and finally pray( prayer is Huge action). When we take care of ourselves and nurture and build our self-esteems from the inside out we become the women we know we should be. Remember healthy self-esteem (not arrogance or "thinking your all that" type of mentality because that type of mentality is really low self- esteem masked)takes time and effort. The skills listed above are things that we women must do daily. We must remember that a negative self-image and negative thoughts are all based on fear and lies. We are the image of God and when a thought comes to our minds that states the opposite we must reverse it; less we believe a lie. These practices take effort. Even though it takes effort you are worth it; we are worth it. We are Sacred Women.
Peace- Miss D "Founder of Sacred Women"
Mission Statement- To collectively as women come up with concrete skills in order to heal, become self-aware, have faith and hope in ourselves and ultimately become better women; to promote healing, love and unity.
The definition of "Sacred"- Holy, Divine, secured against violation, infringement; properly immune from violence.. All women are sacred- We are ALL Divine;the female version of God. Read on...
Tonight we discussed the issue of self-esteem. I wanted to begin with this topic of discussion first because all things begin with self; also I wanted to discuss self- esteem because I have battled with low self-esteem and so have many other women. The focus of this discussion is to be open, honest and collectively come up with ways to improve our self-esteems.
Discussion Questions (Not all discussion questions are listed):
What is self- esteem?
What is healthy self-esteem?
What is low self-esteem?
How do you go about building healthy self-esteem?
Do the people in your life support and nurture your esteem or do you surround yourself with people who make you feel bad about yourself?
Many responded that self-esteem is how you feel about yourself or your own sense of self-worth or self-respect. Self-esteem also encompasses our belief's about ourselves and how we feel emotionally about ourselves.
We all agreed on healthy self-esteem- feeling good about yourself, being honest with yourself, aware of your strengths and weaknesses but focusing more on your strengths, taking care of yourself emotionally, mentally and physically i.e. if someone is treating you in a bad way removing yourself from their presence permanently because you know that you were not created to be mistreated, forgiving yourself and having inner confidence(not arrogance).
Low self-esteem is the opposite of healthy self-esteem- being too hard on yourself, not feeling "good enough", feeling little, jealousy, mistreating other's, allowing other's to mistreat you constantly, negative self-image, talking negatively to yourself- "I look so ugly today", comparing yourself to other's- "She drives a better car than I do", lack of trust, deep insecurity, looking for validation/sign of approval in men, friends, a job/career, your children instead of validating yourself.
Finally we discussed tools/skills to improve our self-esteems. First we must admit to ourselves that our esteem needs to be improved. Also daily affirmations- "I am beautiful", reverse negative thoughts about self, take compliments with grace, say "Thank you" instead of "Oh this old dress". Spend time with yourself or just be still, do something that makes you feel good- read, get your toes done, go on a nature walk, listen to your favorite song (something inspirational), read positive literature etc; removing toxic/mean-spirited/angry/hurtful people out of your life permanently, talk aloud to yourself(yes, like a crazy person) use your talents/gifts- writing, singing, teaching, playing an instrument, drawing, painting, dancing etc...and finally pray( prayer is Huge action). When we take care of ourselves and nurture and build our self-esteems from the inside out we become the women we know we should be. Remember healthy self-esteem (not arrogance or "thinking your all that" type of mentality because that type of mentality is really low self- esteem masked)takes time and effort. The skills listed above are things that we women must do daily. We must remember that a negative self-image and negative thoughts are all based on fear and lies. We are the image of God and when a thought comes to our minds that states the opposite we must reverse it; less we believe a lie. These practices take effort. Even though it takes effort you are worth it; we are worth it. We are Sacred Women.
Peace- Miss D "Founder of Sacred Women"
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